"Good Girl"

(A conversation following an epic morning battle that included screaming, hitting, kicking, time-out, and misplaced feces...)


Ivie (still whimpering): Mommy, can I have my Pop-Tart now?

Me (much more calm than 10 minutes prior): Ivie, only good girls get Pop-Tarts after their fruit. Have you been a good girl this morning?

Ivie (hesitating slightly): Yes?

Me: Ivie? What have you done wrong this morning?

Ivie: I went poopy in my panties.

Me: What else?

Ivie: I hit you lots of times.

Me: So, Ivie, have you been a good girl this morning?

Ivie: Noooooo.

Me: OK. We're not going to have a Pop-Tart this morning, Ivie. Maybe tomorrow morning if you're a good girl.

Ivie (seemingly understanding the cause and effect): OK, Mommy.


(2 minutes later, when I tell Ivie that it's time to get in the car so that we can make it to school in time for their morning snack at 8:30a...)


Me (trying to change the subject): Hey, Ivie, what do you think you'll have for snack at school this morning?

Ivie: Maybe a Pop-Tart!!!!

Me (under my breath): So much for teaching her a lesson.