(A conversation following an epic morning battle that included screaming, hitting, kicking, time-out, and misplaced feces...)
Ivie (still whimpering): Mommy, can I have my Pop-Tart now?
Me (much more calm than 10 minutes prior): Ivie, only good girls get Pop-Tarts after their fruit. Have you been a good girl this morning?
Ivie (hesitating slightly): Yes?
Me: Ivie? What have you done wrong this morning?
Ivie: I went poopy in my panties.
Me: What else?
Ivie: I hit you lots of times.
Me: So, Ivie, have you been a good girl this morning?
Me: OK. We're not going to have a Pop-Tart this morning, Ivie. Maybe tomorrow morning if you're a good girl.
Ivie (seemingly understanding the cause and effect): OK, Mommy.
(2 minutes later, when I tell Ivie that it's time to get in the car so that we can make it to school in time for their morning snack at 8:30a...)
Me (trying to change the subject): Hey, Ivie, what do you think you'll have for snack at school this morning?
Ivie: Maybe a Pop-Tart!!!!
Me (under my breath): So much for teaching her a lesson.