Friday, October 25, 2013

Conflict Resolution

As most of you know, I have been working at Duke for almost 4 months now.  And, as you also know, this has been very hard on my die-hard-Carolina-fan husband.

Below is an email exchange that I just had to "put out there" so that I would have future record of it.  Because this demonstrates what I now deal with on a daily basis.

I would give you some background information, but I don't think it's really necessary.  Other than to tell you that Dale is on a plane flying home from Arizona, which is why we were emailing (instead of talking) in the first place.  I fervently deny that we communicate mostly by email and text when he is traveling, as opposed to strategically planning out times of our days that we can have long, thoughtful phone conversations to catch up...

Anyway, enough lead-up.  Here you go.


From: Amy Herman
Sent: Friday, October 25, 2013 10:53 AM
To: Herman, Dale
Subject: Drury

Any interest in bringing the girls to the Duke/Drury BB game?  Do you remember Dad telling me about his friend whose son plays there, etc.?  It's 11/2 at 1p.  Or maybe I can just bring the girls and you can stay home with B.  Though I don't even know if you're here next Sat?  &*$% said it would be pretty easy to get tix if we want to come...   

(Note:  Name of ticket connection removed prior to publication to protect individual from unwanted ticket solicitations from those that read my blog that are Duke fans.  What?!?  There aren't any of you other than my cousin, Ted, who might read this only if his wife does and tells him that I mentioned him?!?)

On Fri, Oct 25, 2013 at 10:56 AM, Herman, Dale wrote:

Interesting question.    I will be here for sure.   We play State that day, and I am guessing it will be at 12:30 and I probably will want to watch, as you know.  I hate Duke BB, and really would not be very interested.   Immaturely, I would like to keep the girls away from Duke BB.   I would like to spend time with them in a sports atmosphere.  I want to make sure that we give them opportunities.   

 To put in communication terms that you would understand.  “#conflicted”   :-)


From: Amy Herman 
Sent: Friday, October 25, 2013 11:19 AM
To: Herman, Dale
Subject: Re: Drury

Okay.  Hmmmm.  

How about we go with this:
1)  You will stay home with B so that you can watch the FB game and he can nap.  #nobrainer  #DaddydoesnthavetopullforDuke
2)  We will ask the girls if they are interested in staying home to watch FB with Daddy on TV, or if they want to see what a Duke MBB game looks like.  #ignoringimmaturities  #givingchoices  #providingopportunities


On Fri, Oct 25, 2013 at 11:20 AM, Herman, Dale wrote:

I think this is the level-headed, responsible parenting decision.  Not the one I would have made, admittedly, but one that I support fully.  


1 comment:

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

Bahahaha! That is so great. You guys could teach a class on successful spousal communication :) but not on basketball.....;)